You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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