Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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