Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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