If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
