There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
