Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
