I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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