There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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