Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
