I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
