it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
