I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
