that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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