you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize