his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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