she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
A+ Viking dick
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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