Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
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