my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just had sex on a roof
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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