I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
