That's when you crack a 10am beer
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
