is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
