adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
