So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
