In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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