seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
