I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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