im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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