i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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