pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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