I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
