Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
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