I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize