i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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