Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
