Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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