In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Randomize
