worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
All I want is dick and wine.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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