I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
did i just pee glitter
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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