Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
