I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
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Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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