He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
