Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
