Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
