Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
my being single is dangerous.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
