Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
