do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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