I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
FUCK WHALES
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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