and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
So many bounce houses so little time
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
