Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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