ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
My life is pants optional.
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