Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I smell like Dick and happiness
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
