if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
you had me at cake vodka
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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