Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
