so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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