He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
