Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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