im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
