You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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