My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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