I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
