didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
