what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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