K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
