he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
