I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Just cropdusted the office
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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