I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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